Sunday, January 20, 2008

Happy Birthday, B!!!

I can hardly believe it, but it was one year ago today that baby B was born. One year ago today that we received a call from our adoption agency informing us that, "our" daughter was born. One year ago today that we knew our world had just changed.

If you have been reading my blog, you are fully aware that wasn't "our" baby. Baby B was raised by her incredible mom and her dad. The parents that God intended her to be raised by.

I'm so proud of S. There is so much coercion and stress surrounding adoption and for a young girl without a lot of support, it would have been "easy" for her to be pressured into something she didn't want. She realized after a few weeks without her daughter in her arms (she was in interim care) that she could be and would be a great mom. She learned she couldn't live without her daughter. She learned she had the right to take her baby girl home and she did.

It is strange to put into words, but I miss B. I am glad she isn't my daughter because she is exactly where she is supposed to be, but for the couple of weeks she was in interim care and I visited her frequently, I loved that baby with a mothers love. I held her, fed her, kissed her, sang to her, prayed over her, rocked her to sleep...all the things a mommy does for their child. But, she wasn't mine and I knew that when I was doing those things. I knew that S could parent and should parent. When I reflect back, I think I even knew she would parent...but at the time I didn't let my mind go there.

I feel honored that I had those few weeks with B. I feel blessed that she came into my life, if only for a moment. I know that happened for a reason, but I may never know why in this lifetime and I am ok with that. (I think I have an idea as to why, however)

Since I don't have the chance to tell her to her face, I will say it here:

Happy 1st birthday, B. May God bless you all of your days. All my love, The Professor


L L (skyangel) said...

Happy Birthday Baby B! She is one little gitl that will always have a spcial place in your heart!

Mindy said...

I'm in empathy...I still "observe" the b-day of "our" other daughter, Izzy. Your words sound very much like you've done a lot of healing, so I'm happy for you for that!


PeWee said...

God Bless Baby B!

Erin said...

That describes it perfectly :) I feel the exact same way about the Jedi, whose birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks