I wonder

I wonder what God has in store for my future. I think about it often. I don't worry about it, just think about it.

I loved, loved, loved being a high school teacher. I loved the connections I made with students and the difference that I made. I fully believe that is the career God intended for me. I miss it. Alot.

I love that I have the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom, but that doesn't take away my desire to teach high school. I know we are blessed to be able to afford me to stay home. I have several friends who would love this opportunity. I don't take it for granted. I love having this opportunity. Really, I do. But every now and again I get this strong desire to start looking for a teaching job. Is that God or is that me? I struggle with knowing the difference sometimes.

We have four years until Lil Princess enters Kindergarten. I don't plan to return to work until she is in school full time, which, as it currently stands, would be five years from now as Kindergarten is part-time (they are considering changing that though). I have already been a stay-at-home momma for 4.5 years. I can do 5 more, right?

Finding a full time high school business teaching job is not going to be an easy task. I do know, however, that if that is where God wants me, the position will be available at the right time. Since our state has been struggling for so long, we have lost a lot of residents, therefore the number of students has dropped. As a result, many of the non-core classes have been cut from most high schools. That means there are few jobs out there and it is not often that someone currently teaching in that particular area actually retires...so, the window of opportunity is small...very, very small.

I will continue to seek Gods wisdom in this matter. I want to do what is pleasing to Him. I want to do what is right for our family. I trust that the two (do or will) align. The Designer has told me many times that the value I add to our family is beyond measure, beyond a paycheck...but why on those really long, very difficult days, does it not feel like that?

I am excited about what my (our) future holds. I can't wait to see what God has in store. I know in perfect timing, it will be revealed. Until then, I will go bathe my children, feed them breakfast, play with them, and do all of the other mommy things that a typical Monday calls for. I will love the special moments I share with them. I will cherish nap time, too! :)

**As I reread this, I felt it was important to mention that God has been providing for my career in that I do still teach 1 or 2 college classes every semester and have been for the past 4 years. It has helped to provide some for our family (financially) and to keep me in the classroom. I am teaching 1 night a week right now and I do enjoy getting out of the house. I just know that unless I have a heart change (which is possible) college is not where God plans for me to stay indefinitely.**