Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Dogs should have litters, not people! Right?

When The Designer and I decided to try to get pregnant, we agreed that even though we loved Colorado, it would be in the best interest of our child to move back to Michigan. Both The Designer and I loved being around our parents, siblings, aunts & uncles, and grandparents as children and we would not be able to provide that same familial support if we stayed in Colorado. It was a hard decision because The Designer had a fabulous job, as did I. We had terrific friends that we were going to miss. But mostly, we had a church that we LOVED. Agreeing to leave all of that behind for the sake of a child that didn't even exist was difficult, but we knew in our hearts it was the right thing to do.

When we made the decision, we were excited about the next chapter of our lives...the chapter of parenthood. We had no idea what that really meant, but we were so ready to tell our friends and family that we would soon be pregnant and making major changes in our lives.

We had a great plan, but as it turned out, the Lord had an even better one! :) Go figure!!! We had been married 8 years before we tried to get pregnant. Prior to us trying to get pregnant, we had a conversation about whether we would even try to get pregnant or if we would jump straight to adoption. Now that I think about that, I laugh because I know that it would be nearly impossible to adopt an American infant just because we wanted to, but we knew nothing about adoption at the time, so ignorant or not, that is the decision we were trying to make...get pregnant or adopt.

We opted to try to get pregnant. I suspected that getting pregnant might be a challenge for us, so I immediately started charting my cycle. I am a research nerd and knew from my reading that if we were going to get infertility treatments from the doctor, they would require we do this anyway. I charted for about 4 months, but after the first month I noticed that it appeared I might not actually be ovulating. The next 3 months confirmed that. I made an appointment to see the doctor and told her I wasn't ovulating. Because I had charts to prove it, she didn't make us go a whole year of trying before she prescribed Clomid and Progesterone for me.

I was excited about taking the "drugs," but nervous because I wondered if we were taking too much into our own control. I mean, really, does God want humans to interfere with that kind of thing? He knows what is best, right? Well, I can honestly say I still do not know how I feel about infertility treatments, but regardless, The Designer and I decided to use the drugs and after a while, we finally became pregnant. (side note: I hold nothing against anyone that uses alternative methods to get pregnant. I just didn't know if it was right for us or not.)

The Designer was away at a conference the day I learned I was pregnant. Of course, since we were trying to get pregnant, I knew within a couple of weeks when we finally were. I was so excited and wanted to share the wonderful news, but I had to wait until The Designer was home to tell him. How horrible would it have been to tell him over the phone. So, I went to the store and bought a card and wrote a nice little note in there and then included the pregnancy test. He returned home the next day and upon his entry into the house, I gave him the card. He opened it up and said, "Great! Now you are giving me used pregnancy tests. Another negative, huh?" I was dumbfounded...that wasn't the response I expected...I quickly said, "No! Read it!"

After he read and processed it, he was overjoyed. We hugged and cried. It ranked as one of the best days of our lives thus far. I quickly phoned our parents and told them that they would be grandparents. The best news was that we were moving in 8 months, so we would be back home (in Michigan) before our little miracle arrived. They were more than excited. Life was good.

I called our doctor and asked to come in the next week to take a test and confirm that I was pregnant. I was very disappointed to learn that they would not let me come in until I was 9 weeks pregnant. Their reason: many women miscarry during the first 8 weeks and we don't want you to come in, get your hopes up and then lose your child. Well, I already had my hopes up, but I still had to wait.

About 1 week prior to our scheduled 9 week appointment, I started spotting. I was very nervous about it so I called the doctors office. They wanted me to come in to do a blood test to check my HCG levels. I didn't tell The Designer about my appointment because that day he was scheduled to take 1 of the 8 all day tests that he needed to pass in order to be licensed as an architect. I didn't want to distract him. I went to work that morning and left to go to the appointment alone. I was a little nervous, but more than anything, I was excited because I wanted confirmation of my pregnancy. I ran in, they took my blood and sent me back to work. They said they would call me later.

I taught the remainder of my classes and at the end of the day I finally received a call from the doctor's office.

Nurse: "Hi. How are you?"

Me: "I will be better once you tell me everything is ok with my baby."

Nurse: "Well, are you sitting down?"

Me: "No? Why? What's wrong?"

Nurse: "Well, technically we don't think anything is really 'wrong.' But, we would like you and The Designer to come in for an ultrasound. You were advised of possible side effects from taking Clomid, correct?"

Me: "Well, if nothing is wrong, why do I need to come in? Are you concerned that...wait...are you saying...no! you aren't saying...tell me...am I having twins?"

Nurse: chuckles "Well, to be honest, I am not sure how many children you are having, but your levels are 6x higher than normal and we would like you to come in for an ultrasound so we can take a peek to see how many babies you are carrying."

Me: "Are you saying there might be more than two?" A bit of fear comes over me.

Nurse: "The doctor is guessing that you might have four or more babies, but you really just need to come in and let us look. Can you come in today?"

I hung up the phone in absolute disbelief. I phoned The Designer. Fortunately he was done with his test and was home. I told him to meet me at the doctor's office. I told him everything was okay and to drive safe. We both rushed to the doctor's office.

We walked into the office, hand-in-hand. A bit of a terrified expression frozen on both of our faces. In fact, if I remember correctly, The Designer looked a bit green at the thought of having 4 babies at once. The receptionist was all smiles. She excitedly announced to the rest of the office that we were there and then said, "I bet you are so excited!"

"Um, excited? We're not sure just how excited we really are. Can we just find out how many babies we are talking about here and then we can discuss how excited we are? I and not a dog. Woman shouldn't have litters!"

We were escorted to the room. I laid down. I have never had such a mix of emotions at one time before. We were thrilled to be having an ultrasound. This was our first peek at our Lil' Bug. But, we were worried about my health, the health of all of these possible babies and we worried about supporting them all...the appointment went fast.

The doctor came in to do the ultrasound. After a few minutes of checking, she confirmed that there was only 1 healthy tiny blob (a.k.a. baby). We were relieved. We were sad a little bit too. The thought of having our entire family in one pop was kind of exciting. We left the office and went home, glowing that we just got to see our Lil' Bug for the first time.


I'm forgiven said...

When I read the title of this post I didn't really know where you were going with that. :) I LOVE how you told The Designer w/a card and the pg test inside. "Women shouldn't have litters" made me laugh outloud! And I love it that you said "This was our first peak of our Lil Bug." The first time you saw her she was just a few weeks inutero...that still boggles my mind!

Sherri said...

Can you imagine if you had more than two?? Holy moley!! You would have been the size of a small house :)

BTW, I love the way you write. I've probably told you that before :)