Miracles can be a process

Sometimes I think that people forget about all of the miracles that have happened in Lil Bugs life. When I was pregnant I would often pray that she would be born whole, with no hole in her spine. I prayed to God that she would come out with no brain damage, no spinal damage, no nerve damage. I used to bargain with God by praying things like, "I know you can do this, so if you do it for her, just think of the people that will be in awe of your work and turn their lives to you." Well, obviously when she was born, she was not born whole. I was a bit surprised, I will not lie, because I honestly thought she would be born healed. I really did think that God would perform one huge miracle and she would be completely healthy. She wasn't. I wasn't mad at God, but disappointed that my greatest hope didn't happen. I sort of figured that I must not have prayed hard or long enough. I couldn't see the big picture at the time.

Now, nearly 4 years after her birth I have a much clearer mind and can really break down and analyze what and how God has worked in and through my life and Bugs life. First, I noticed that people that are around Bug often forget the many, many miracles that God has already performed on her. Remember that according to her brain scans, she has scrambled eggs for brains and by no right should she be able to talk...however, by the grace of God she never stops! So often, her voice, her language is taken for granted. There are a ton of stories like that about Bug that I could go back and retell (I have mentioned most of them in prior posts, so if you are bored or interested, feel free to dig around for them!)

But, as each miracle unfolds, it is a reminder of the fact that our God is a living, breathing God and constantly at work. He is always doing things to and for Bug and I love that I can see things as they unfold. For example, last week Bug had an appointment with her orthotics specialist. Her current set of A.F.O's (ankle-foot orthotics, or "leg braces") are about 6 months old, so they reevaluate to see if they are still doing their job or if a new set must be constructed for her. As it turns out, she needs a new set. For one, she is getting bigger...her feet grew 1.75 shoe sizes in 6 months. Second, God performed yet another miracle and her old braces were actually working against that! Since her feet have no feeling, she wears the braces. Since she wears the braces, her muscles don't get used in the lower parts of her legs and in her feet. Since those muscles don't get used, they are very weak and don't go the direction they are supposed to. One curves out and the other curves in making them both go the same direction. The braces help keep them aligned so when she is standing, she is not causing damage to the rest of her body, like her spine. Anywho, the orthotics dude took off her braces and he couldn't believe his eyes...her right foot has completely straightened out! That's right...no more curving. In fact, she can even stand up without braces now. We don't let her because it is not safe, but she can if she has to. It is amazing. God is amazing.

And, to be honest, if God would have answered my original prayer, which was to instantly heal her before birth, I can not say for certain that my faith would have grown as it has. My relationship with Him would probably be much weaker than it is now. I get to get excited over and over again when I see the miracles and healing he sends her way as he answers my prayers. I get to blog about it and spread my infectious love for Him. I get to shout out that our God is a living God who hears our prayers!

So, Bug is a miracle in the works. I still have no doubt that she will be 100% healed when all is said and done (I mean before she gets to Heaven because, of course, she will be whole there). I am just enjoying the fact that her miracles are a process and not a one time experience and I am so thankful for that! I hate that she has had to suffer from her birth defects, but I am thankful for what God has taught me along this journey.