Another match....

Well, we had our first prebirth meeting yesterday with N. Can I just say that I am smiling from ear-to-ear right now? It went as well as a prebirth meeting can go, I think.

I originally heard about N about 6 weeks ago. We have had many, many let downs along our adoption journey, so I have sort of become numb when I hear about possible matches. I don't do it on purpose, but it just hurts too bad to hear that you are narrowed down to two and then not selected. Not to mention when you are selected and have a failed match. After a while, the thought crosses your mind: What is wrong with us? Anywho, upon learning that N was going to be looking at profiles, we felt the same way, sort of indifferent.

We did get a call a couple of weeks later telling us she had narrowed down the profiles to ours and a couple of others. It was strange this time around...I felt like there was a great chance ours would be selected. I didn't really have a good reason why, but just had a "gut" (or was it a God?) feeling about it, but still didn't think about it much at all.

Then we got the call that she had, indeed, selected us and wanted to meet us. I was cautiously happy. The time they wanted to meet didn't work out with DH's schedule, so it was put off another week and the time finally came. We had our first prebirth meeting with her. The is the first time since we started the adoption process that I have not been nervous, stressed, anxious or anything else a possible match. Seriously, there has been a peace within me that passes all understanding (thank you, God!). Even though N has some very risky requests, the peace stands. I don't think that means that this adoption is going to take place with no problems. What I think the peace means is that DH and I are ready to handle the situation no matter how it ends up, whether the baby ultimately ends up in our home or in N's...that, my friend, is peace!

Those prebirth meetings are just so odd to me. First, I am not sure I think that meeting a potential birthmom prior to birth is a good idea for her sake or the adopting families sake. With that said, we were not going to decline her request, so we went. Our SW told us what she new about N and her mom, so we were sort of prepared. They arrived about 10 minutes after we did, and I must admit that is the first time I was just a teeny-tiny bit nervous. I wondered if she changed her mind about meeting us, but she didn't.

We talked about some very deep things at our first meeting. Things that I am glad were put on the table right away. It is nice to not have something looming over us until the next time we meet. I want to be 100% honest with N and I hope she will do the same. Our first meeting was a great start to that.

She is a wonderful young lady. Some people may see her and question that, but she is wonderful! I really respect her for the person she is aside from the fact that she now faces this huge decision. I look forward to getting to know her more. I look forward to spending more time with her. I look forward to her becoming a part of the "family" even if she chooses to not place her baby with us. Many in the waiting phase of adoption can't understand that, but it is true. I believe with all of my heart that God doesn't cross people's paths in such an intense way without a bigger purpose and if that doesn't mean us adopting this baby, then I fully believe it means something else and that is cool.

We went into the meeting not knowing the sex of the baby. Ordinarily that would have driven us nuts, but not so this time. We just figured they couldn't tell at her u/s. When we first sat down, N referred to the baby as a "her" so I asked, are you having a girl or do you simply suspect you are having a girl? She said she is having a girl! A girl!!! woohoo...if this is the baby for our family, we will have another daughter. I couldn't be happier!

We will be meeting with her and her mom again in the next couple of weeks. We are playing it by ear due to schedules and such, but they have our phone number and email address. Her mom said that she would contact us to set something up soon. Her mom has to be involved because N doesn't drive, so mom has to transport her. The next meeting, Lil' Bug will attend. That will be a fun meeting. Lil' Bug is a wonderful kiddo and I am sure she will embrace N and her mom in a matter of seconds. Oh, I can't wait!