What have I gotten myself into?

I have been longing to get back into a womens Bible study for a while, but in case you haven't noticed, things have been crazy. Well, I decided to take a step in the right direction and sign up for the new study our church started this week.

All I knew about the study was that it was a Beth Moore study. I have never done one of her studies before, but I have heard fantastic things about her and was looking very forward to what I would get from it.

So, last night was the first meeting. It is only 4 weeks long and we are meeting every other week. I walked into a room full of women I don't know very well. Yes, we have been going to our church since January, but we haven't joined any small groups or anything yet, with summer being so busy and such. So, I sit down at the first table I see with a vaguely familiar face.

We did brief introductions and then started the video. As I listend to the first 30 minutes, I really enjoyed everything Beth was saying. She is a great presenter. She has an awesome sense of humor. Then, suddenly I found myself getting very real. Suddenly I felt the Spirit's presence and I knew that I have work in myself to do. At this point I begin to think, "What have I gotten myself into?"

The study is "Love Well." Have you done it before? If you have, you know what I am talking about. If not, here are a few key things I took away from last night.

* God measures our spiritual maturity by how we love. (1 John 4:7-21)

* We must know God loves us before we can show love to others to His fullest intent.

* Loving others will always involve risk because they can hurt us.

* There are 4 types of people to love:
- JOY: These are the people that are easy to love.
- Testy: These are the people that drive you crazy to love. They are difficult to love. They crawl under your skin when you are around them too much.
- Foe: We are called to love our enemies. Think, "who do I hate?" You can only hate someone who has been close enough to hurt you.
- Far: These are the strangers in our lives. The lady in line next to us at the grocery store. The person whose car broke down in front of your house.

There are also 4 confessions of affection that she discusses.
- God is perfect love.
- Nothing can seperate me from Gods perfect love.
- God pours his perfect love into my imperfect heart.
- Accessed, I can love anyone through anything

So, it seems all harmless, right?

WRONG!

There is someone in my life that I consider a foe. Someone that I hate. I am not a hateful person, but there is one, just one, that I can say was close enough to hurt me so much and I do hate him. So, I know that God will be working on me during the next three studies and I am not sure I am ready to be worked on. I feel called to the study and resistent at the same time. Should be fun, huh?